Communication is one of the cornerstones of a healthy relationship. Although we all strive to be open and honest with our partners, talking about sensitive issues is still difficult for many people. This is especially true when it comes to discussing problems with sexual performance. For men, the issue is about embarrassment and for women, it’s about not wanting to hurt their partner’s feelings. But by not discussing the problem, it never gets solved and, eventually, it can lead to the destruction of the entire relationship.
Discussing the Problem
The approach to opening a dialogue about premature ejaculation isn’t easy, but it is simple. Men usually find themselves wanting to reach out to their partners but feel unsure where to begin. When you’re ready to talk to your partner about your performance issues, get yourself ready first. Make a list of the points you wish to touch on and be prepared to answer some questions. This isn’t a problem many women think about and some are unaware that it’s a chronic condition. Be prepared for her to ask some questions about the cause and potential treatments. This doesn’t mean that you need to be an expert and it’s fine to answer some questions with ‘I don’t know’ or ‘That’s something we’ll have to look into’, but try to make her feel comfortable about being able to ask you thee questions, even if you find them difficult to answer. Opening up and sharing your problem and your feelings will not only help to take some of the stress off of your shoulders, it can also help you to develop a more effective treatment plan.
For women, the problem with approaching the subject is that they don’t want to embarrass their partner. Ignoring the problem may seem like the easier route to take but breaking the silence and discussing the problem openly can aid in recovery and help to strengthen the relationship. Here are some things to keep in mind when getting ready to broach the subject.
- Focus on Feelings – Don’t begin the discussion with an accusation. Instead, focus on the positive and then open the door to discussing sex. (“We have such a strong emotional relationship; I want to help bring our sex life to that level as well.”)
- Do Your Homework – You already know the symptoms your partner is exhibiting so hop online and do a bit of research on your own. Understanding the problem can help make it easier for him to open up to you.
- Check Out DIY Solutions – There are some different sexual positions and activities you can try as a couple to help lessen the problems with premature ejaculation. Learn about these and suggest them as alternative therapies until your partner is ready to seek out professional help.
- Offer Unconditional Support – You partner may still not be ready to see a doctor, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need your support. Even if you feel he should be trying a different form of treatment, offer him your support. Staying united as a couple can be a great asset in successful treatment.
Take the Discussion to the Next Level
The conversation you begin doesn’t have to get wrapped up on the same night. Discussions about sexual dysfunction can be uncomfortable and very little gets resolved during that initial conversation. Don’t expect too much to happen, but simply lay the groundwork for future conversations as well as fostering a safe and accepting environment so that you both feel comfortable bringing the topic up in the future.
Treatment options for premature ejaculation range from simple at home exercises to pharmaceutical intervention. Although treatment plans may vary, some things remain the same. Getting support and acceptance from a partner and approaching the problem as a united couple can help during the treatment process both in terms of physical success overcoming the issue and strengthening the relationship. Being able to discuss issues about your sex life may not be fun at first, but those discussions can lead to a more fulfilling relationship as well as an explosive sex life.