No matter how good a relationship is, there are certain topics that require careful planning. Men are prideful creatures, and their sexuality is a big part
of their personality. Because of that, women who have a partner with this problem, usually struggle to bring up the subject. They know that they’ll eventually have to do it, but don’t exactly know what to say. The following tips should help you tackle this problem, and create a healthy and productive conversation.
Learn about This Problem
Premature ejaculation is actually a very common problem, and sometimes all a man needs is someone to talk to. It can be the pressure of performing, or they may have a psychological problem that needs to be dealt with. In any case, learning about the particular condition first, and then taking mental notes on what you want to say is most certainly a good idea. With premature ejaculation, there are also certain triggers. If you learn about them, you may be able to improve the situation, or even solve the problem altogether without ever having to bring it up. Maybe all your partner needs is you helping him relax, to change his eating habits, or maybe pick up a sport together. Once you know more about the topic your options increase, and you will be able to help the situation, or ease him into a conversation where the two of you can figure it out together.
Read about Men’s Perspective
The internet offers you the perspective you are looking for. There are hundreds of message boards you can access, websites where men open up about their problems. It is true that they are not your partner – although, he could be there without you knowing. Just learning what a man has to go through when they are dealing with this problem can be of tremendous help. There is one particular site called The Experience Project, where people from around the world share their personal opinion and experiences on certain topics, including essays of the sexual variety. You can find plenty of material on performance problems there, which can help you understand a man’s perspective.
Having a partner who has this sort of problem can be frustrating for both parties, and you should not feel sorry for feeling that way. Early ejaculation can ruin a healthy and joyful sex life, and that can lead to severe frustration, especially if you have high expectations in this area. With that said, you also should be supportive, even if your partner doesn’t take it the best way when you bring up the issue. In fact, most people tend to get defensive first, and either not acknowledge the problem or launch a verbal counterattack that can spiral out of control in no time. The best thing you can do in a situation like this is to let him know that you support him, and he doesn’t have to be alone dealing with this problem.
Be a Good Listener
Once your partner acknowledges that there is a problem and opens up about it, allow him to pour his heart out, and be a good listener. If the relationship is strong, he will want to work on his problem. Hear what he has to say, and you may end up learning something new about your partner. If you listen to what he has to say, and he truly opens up about his problems, the relationship can become stronger than ever before.
Never Give Ultimatums
Don’t make plans, deadlines, and never give your partner an ultimatum, because they rarely work. If he thinks he can lose you over this, and this uncertainty hangs over his head, he may not be able to figure it out before it’s too late. If you value your relationship with your partner, don’t make plans for him, suggest, but do not expect. Offer your support and make every decision together.
Talking about a problem like that is not easy for either party, but these tips can help you prepare for the conversation, and once you managed to help your partner open up about his problem, the two of you can start working on a solution. If you manage to handle the process with empathy and love your relationship, as well as your sex life, should improve.