Problems with sexual performance are never easy to deal with. Whether the problem is with erectile health, a low libido or premature ejaculation, the topic is difficult to discuss even with your sexual partner. At the same time, it’s not exactly a problem you can hide from her so acting like nothing is wrong just creates more tension which can exacerbate the problem. How can you break the cycle? Break the silence.
Talking about sex isn’t something that comes easily for most people. Generally speaking, people are raised to see sex as a personal issue, not something you talk about openly. Even couples who have been together for years and have a healthy and satisfying sex life might not actually talk about it much. But opening up and communicating about sex – the good and the bad – can take your relationship to a whole other level.
Know What You Want to Say – It may seem silly, but rehearse what you want to say. Going over it aloud while you’re alone will make it easier to open up once you’ve sat down with your partner. You’ll feel more comfortable and that will come through while you’re talking.
Be Prepared for Anger – If you’ve been struggling with premature ejaculation for a while, be prepared for the possibility that your partner will initially be defensive or even angry. Many women feel responsible for how their husband or boyfriend performs and she may initially think you’re blaming her. If this happens, tell her she isn’t to blame and the conversation isn’t about assigning blame or pointing fingers. It’s about working together to find an effective solution.
Keep an Open Mind – During your conversation, your partner may offer suggestions that you’ve already tried or which you’ve discounted as being unlikely to work. Try and keep an open mind and be receptive to her ideas. If you’ve tried it before with no success, share your experience. If it’s simply something you don’t think will work, ask yourself if it will hurt to try. Showing her that you value her opinion and input will go a long way in helping the process.
It Ain’t Over Till It’s Over – Since this is just an initial conversation, be receptive when she comes back in the following days, weeks or months to revisit the topic. By opening up to your partner, you’re inviting her to be a part of the treatment process which means talking to her regularly about the issue and about your sex life in general. This will make discussing sex easier as time goes on. This gives you the added benefit of making it easier to discuss things like fantasies and fetishes once you’ve resolved your performance issues.
You Might Even Get Lucky – One of the ironic side effects to talking to your partner about the problems you’re having in bed is that it can actually become the start of sex. For guys dealing with premature ejaculation, this possibility can be somewhat off putting. If things start to get sexy and you’re open to the idea, just focus on her needs for the evening. Make foreplay the main course and not only will you keep your partner happy, you’ll get to learn new ways to drive her wild.
Talking about sex may not be easy at first but it can improve your sex life now and in the years to come. Being open about your concerns and discussing things frankly makes it easier to share fantasies, explore fetishes and learn about a whole new dimension of your relationship and your partner. In a strange kind of way, tackling premature ejaculation head on could become the start of a whole new part of your relationship.