Early ejaculation affects as many as a third of all men at some point in their lives. Men may feel unnecessarily isolated when it happens, because most men don’t talk about it. And, unfortunately, an increasing number of young men are having their early sexual experience be informed by the porn industry, which can create unrealistic performance expectations. But early ejaculation will be something that many men encounter at some point in their lives. If it happens, here’s what NOT to do.
Pretend that it Didn’t Happen
If you’ve ejaculated earlier than you’d like, and had an unsatisfying sexual encounter with your partner, don’t try to cover it up by acting like you meant for it to end that way. Even if it may save your pride and spare some uncomfortable conversation, you don’t want your partner to think that was a typical experience, or what she can expect from future sexual encounters. Acknowledge that it wasn’t an ideal experience for both of you.
Stress out About it
The more you negatively dwell on it and allow yourself to get anxious, the more likely it is that you will continue to have premature ejaculations. Remain calm and accept that it happens to many men at some point. When anticipating sex with your partner, allow yourself to get excited and look forward to it, rather than anticipate frustration and disappointment. These can be self-fulfilling prophecies.
Withdraw from your Partner
By all means, keep having sex, and, more importantly, talking about sex. Talk about it when you’re not in the act; share your desires and feelings, and listen to hers. Establish open and honest communication. Explore her body and learn what she likes and how to give her the greatest pleasure. Even if you continue to suffer from early ejaculation, you can practice other methods of thoroughly satisfying your partner. Not only will this strengthen your relationship and sexual health, knowing that she is happy and satisfied will ease your sexual performance anxiety, which may itself help improve your stamina.
Use the Distraction Technique
Many people advise men to think of something distracting or unsexy in order to cure early ejaculation. But this can actually be a destructive practice, by disconnecting men from their bodies and from their partners. It’s a different way of withdrawing from your partner, but doing so in your mind. Stay present in your body and with your partner, and cultivate and awareness of your own sexual triggers and responses. Many men overcome premature ejaculation by focusing on how their body feels throughout the sexual experience, and therefore gain increased control. Remain present in the moment.
End the Encounter
Probably some combination of male biology and the porn industry have combined to present ejaculation as the climax (pun intended) of any sexual encounter. People think of the sex act as beginning with foreplay and ending with male orgasm. But that’s actually a very limited view of what a sexual encounter could be, and women know this. Male sexuality tends to focus a series of events that culminate with orgasm, but female sexuality is more of a continuum; she can experience pleasure in her whole body, and have multiple orgasms without losing her appetite.
Instead of ejaculating too early and then apologizing and mourning over the poor performance, men could ejaculate too early and then go on to continue exciting and pleasuring their partner. Pay attention to all the sensations in both bodies, and take the focus off of the penis for a while. It’s possible that continuing the sexual encounter after ejaculation may give you enough time to recover for another round. If you’ve kept her excited, she’ll be ready when you are.
Avoiding these mistakes will help men cope with occasional incidents of early ejaculation while still maintaining satisfying and healthy sexual relationships. However, no one wants to live with chronic, uncontrolled early ejaculation. If it is more than an occasional incident, seek medical advice, and consider using a supplement or pill for a more lasting solution. Consult a reputable premature ejaculation pill review website, compare products, and read reviews, to make sure you choose the right supplement for you.