When it happens to you, early ejaculation is most definitely not in the mind. The physical problem of ejaculating quickly with just the minimum of stimulation is distressing and humiliating to most men, and it can put a strain on the strongest of relationships.
However, there is a school of thought that this problem is not a physical one, and that it’s all in the mind. This can be caused by a number of issues.
Primary Premature Ejaculation
This condition describes a man that has suffered from early ejaculation from a young age; in other words since becoming sexually active. This can be caused by a number of different psychological factors.
Upbringing – Everybody’s childhood is different. Some children have very free and easy parents with little or no rules and others are brought up in environments that are very strict, with rules and beliefs that sex is wrong or only acceptable in circumstances such as marriage and is sinful in any other situation. This can have a big effect on how a young man’s views on sex and masturbation and this conditioning can stay with him for a long time, making him unable to relax during sex and thinking that it is wrong or sinful.
Early sexual experiences – It is widely accepted that experiences early on in a young man’s life can affect his sexual behaviour later in life. Most men will recognise the classic, teenage scenario of trying to find a private place to masturbate where they won’t be caught. This pressure means that a teenager will often condition himself to ejaculate as quickly as possible to lessen the chances that someone will catch him. This can then become habit forming and very difficult to break, even when in a stable, sexual relationship.
Trauma of a sexual nature – Unfortunately, many young men suffer traumatic sexual experiences when they are young and this can have life long consequences. Sexual abuse, rape and even being caught masturbating can lead to long term anxiety and early ejaculation problems.
Primary premature ejaculation is not only caused by psychological factors. There are also biological reasons why someone could suffer from premature ejaculation. These can include:
- Low levels of the hormone “prolactin”. If a man doesn’t have enough prolactin in his body, it can “damp down” their sexual arousal, meaning that it will only take a very short amount of time for him to become aroused and early ejaculation will follow.
- Men that suffer from erectile dysfunction will have an abnormal pattern of nerve signals. This can mean that the penis is much more sensitive than usual, and often leads to premature ejaculation with little stimulation needed.
Secondary Premature Ejaculation
This type of early ejaculation is when a man who has previously had a perfectly normal sex life, suddenly develops the problem. There are many causes that can be attributed to this which can be both physical and psychological:
- High blood pressure
- Prostrate disease
- Multiple sclerosis
- Under active thyroid
- Drug abuse
- Being anxious about your sexual performance
- Sexual or emotional problems and conflicts that are unresolved.
As you can see, there are many reasons why you may not be able to prevent early ejaculation. The embarrassment and humiliation that a man feels when suffering from this condition can severely affect his sex life and his relationship with his partner. However, it is interesting that most women don’t see early ejaculation as such a big issue as a man.
Even if the cause of the problem is physical, it nearly always leads to psychological problems as the man struggles to deal with the anxiety surrounding what he often thinks of as his lack of ability to keep his partner satisfied. In addition, if you are trying for a baby, then this can highlight the problem.
However, the good news is that there is help around whatever the cause of your ejaculation problems. Take a deep breath and talk to your doctor. He or she will be able to refer you to the appropriate specialist who will be able to guide you in the treatments that are available for you. This may be natural remedies, counselling, relaxation techniques, medication or medical intervention, but rest assured, this is a problem that many men have to face and there is a solution.